I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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