let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
