Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
