Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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