He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
