is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
