Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Still dying that you shit outside
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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