Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
