is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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