she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
