i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
