I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
