id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
