Kiss
Puke
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
