So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
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