That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
two words: eviction party
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
