I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
