Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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