i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
