Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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