you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
