I feel great
I just peed on a car
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
