so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize