I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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