Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
