i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
