She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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