There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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