The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
