I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
