The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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