could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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