So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
