You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
