she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
