I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
how does that bad decision feel?
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