id be glad to
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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