I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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