This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
