some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize