if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
