no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
