Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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