Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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