at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
