is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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