Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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