Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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