Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
