you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
