i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
